As a gamer and a reviewer of games, it has become common for me to say I’ve played some weird titles. Games are like books, movies, and music—another medium where there is no limit on uniqueness and individuality. Date Everything falls off the charts going toward absurdity, and I love it. I had heard about Date Everything by developer Sassy Chap Games, a studio formed by three voice actors—Ray Chase, Robbie Daymond, and Max Mittelman—and instantly thought this is absurd but sounds hilarious. Finally, I got my hands on it thanks to Team17—the publishers—and I won’t lie…I lost sleep because of this game. The very first time I booted up Date Everything, I played for 3 hours straight and realized I had work in the morning… that’s how engaging this game is. Still, I’m sure many of you want an actual review, so let me not waste time talking about my poor decisions and sleep schedule. Here’s my review of Date Everything for the PS5!

Gameplay

Date Everything is a very simple game to play, but don’t let that dissuade you. You assume the role of an employee who ends up “kind of losing their job” and is forced to stay home to wait for their eventual firing. As luck would have it, the character—who can be either He/Him, She/Her, or They/Them—obtains a pair of glasses called the Dateviator. These strange—but stylish—specs aren’t just for looking rad but have a special power: the power of DATE (Directly Acknowledge a Thing’s Existence), which means you can look at any item in your house and see it as a living being. Now your job is to literally date everything and see if you can give life to these everyday conveniences.

As a sandbox dating sim—an unusual phrase to type—Date Everything is very laid-back in its approach. There’s no actual time limit—time passes in-game between day, afternoon, and night segments—and you’re free to DATE whatever you wish. Activate your specs, aim at an object, hold a button, and boom: the object transforms into an attractive—but sometimes super strange—person. Your bed is a curvy and buxom woman, your shelves are a woman with abs, your shower looks like Elvis, and your fireplace is a literal dude on fire. Half the fun is seeing what each item turns into.

Conversations play out like a visual novel, and depending on your choices, you can fall in love, become friends, or even get hated. Oddly enough, I found making an object hate me was harder than making them fall in love. Your ultimate goal is to do exactly as the title says: date everything. There’s even some romances that only occur if you’re on loving terms with another object. And yes, you can choose not to romance certain items and just be friends—thankfully.

You’ll also want to max out your SPECS: Poise, Empathy, Smarts, Charm, and Sass. Every object contributes to a stat when you complete their “ending.” These stats are necessary for unlocking deeper story paths with other characters, so you’ll need to build them if you want full completion.

Graphics

Style is the middle name of Date Everything. While the environments and overall visuals are kind of basic, the character designs are the true stars. Some are perfect, others are bizarre, but isn’t that the point? With over 100+ objects to date, not every one will land with you—and that’s okay. Still, if you’re looking for cutting-edge graphics, this isn’t the game to wow you.

Sound

Made by a team of professional voice actors, the voice work in Date Everything is fantastic. Every character has a distinct voice and personality, and none of them felt phoned in. Even the ones I didn’t personally enjoy were still brought to life impressively. Music-wise, the soundtrack is serviceable but can get repetitive during long sessions.

Story

Date Everything is hilariously original. The premise—dating your bed, shelves, shower, etc.—is already wild, but the game embraces the absurdity without ever taking itself too seriously. There’s even some light lore about workplace culture and the modern dating scene. It’s meant to be silly, and it excels at that, while still being surprisingly clever at times.

Conclusion

I didn’t ever think I could love a game about dating household objects until Date Everything. Quirky, fun, silly, and unique are just a few of the words that come to mind while playing. While the game has a few drawbacks in music and visuals, its charm and originality make it one of the most addicting dating sims I’ve played in a while. Big thanks again to Team17 and Sassy Chap Games for the review copy!

—Aaron